Launchables - T shirt
🚀 Launchables™ — Naturally Flavored Chaos
Forget snack time. It’s blast time.
Straight from the Chief Larper™ arsenal comes Launchables™, the nutritionally questionable, battlefield-approved parody of your childhood favorite — now packed with 40MM of pure simulated thunder.
Inside this tasty tray of tactical treats:
- 🫗 7x 40MM HE "snack pods" — High-Explosive, High-Energy, Zero Calories
- 🔵 1x Blue Inert Round — For those with dietary restrictions
- âś… Naturally flavored (by diesel fumes, regret, and cordite)
Perfect for:
- 🧢 Flexing at the field
- 📦 Tactical lunchbox art
- đź’Ą Causing confusion at PTA meetings
“I used to eat Lunchables… now I deploy Launchables.”
— Chief Larper, probably mid-breach.
⚠️ Not edible. Not functional. Extremely operational in spirit.
100% morale-boosting merch.
đźš« Not affiliated with Kraft or anyone sane.
More details
- Solid colors are 100% ring-spun cotton
- Sport Grey is 90% ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
- Dark Heather is 65% polyester, 35% cotton
- Lightweight fabric: 4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)
EU GPSR Product Information:
- Manufacturer contact information
- Name: Chief Larper
- Email: contact@support.larper.army
- Postal address: PO Box 5696 Santa Monica, CA 90405
- Additional information: This product is made for adults. Meets the flammability, lead, cadmium, bisphenols and phthalates level requirements. 2 year warranty in EEA and UK, established by Directive 1999/44/EC.
Size & Fit
Quality Guarantee & Returns
- Quality is guaranteed. If there is a print error or visible quality issue, we'll replace or refund it.
- Because the products are made to order, we do not accept general returns or sizing-related returns.
Launchables - T shirt Size Guide
| Size label | Length | Width | Sleeve length |
|---|---|---|---|
|
S
|
28
|
18
|
16.75
|
|
M
|
29
|
20
|
17.88
|
|
L
|
30
|
22
|
19.13
|
|
XL
|
31
|
24
|
20.38
|
|
2XL
|
32
|
26
|
21.63
|
|
3XL
|
33
|
28
|
22.75
|